@WilliamAder: Do those "selfie sticks" retract, or do you just have to walk around like a doofus with a stick all day?
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@SaraMansford: Germ 1-OMG he dropped his pizza! Germ 2-PIIZZZAAAA!!! Let's get it! Germ Capt.-Stand back! He still has one more second to pick it up.
@matt___nelson: *walks up to dealer* I would like 3 weeds please "Are you a cop?" No I love crime and tomfoolery "..." Could I also get a bushel of cocaine?
@NoTheOtherJohn: Me: Jesus. Get the kids inside Wife: What's wron- Me: *running* JUST GET THE DAMN KIDS INSIDE [a bee flies off of the lens of my binoculars]