@SomthinBoutSara: Do you ever walk out of a bathroom and want to put a sign on the door that says "I was just peeing It smelled that way when I went in there"
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@DzNutz83: Your honor, if you watch the tape in reverse you can clearly see the officer planting the evidence in my vehicle.
@AaronFullerton: USA: "Hey nachos, today's your big day!" Nachos: "What about Cinco de Mayo?" USA: "What'd you just say?" Nachos: "Nothing."
@PopSlapFunk: Fun Fact: You can be charged with home invasion and aggravated assault if you use a box cutter to break down cardboard and a hobo's inside.
@TuffyNyC: "Instead of a 58 year old woman, I wanna look like a 28 year old shiny iguana" - Plastic Surgery