@murrman5: do you have any idea how fast you were going?
"no, I'm not wearing my contacts"
@Abfablee: My tombstone will say, "She was a people pleaser most of her life until one day she snapped and had to be taken out by the national guard."
@ABurgerADay: It's okay if you didn't notice that I switched my beard trimmer's setting from 6 to 5. The difference is stubble.
@Crunch11b: About delete my Facebook account, I hope Stacey and Heather from the 3rd grade can handle the rejection.
@batkaren: [Cretaceous Period]
T-REX: *eating pterodactyl, sad* I just wish it were meatier...
DRUNK GUARDIAN ANGEL: A meteor? Tha's weird but ok 1 sec
@Book_Krazy: ME: I'd like to order...the updog.
WAITER: How would u like that prepared?
ME: um medium well?
W: very good
Me: oh god what have I just done