@kristynhearts: Do you think maybe humans are gonna evolve with longer arms for selfie purposes?
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@weinerdog4life: No, your baby was definitely crying before I dropped it, that's why I dropped it.
@NikiWithIssues: I'm not hungover. I just like to wear my sunglasses when I open the fridge door. It makes me look cool.
@KrazykurtKurt: When I practice my saxophone I have to put the cat in the window, so my neighbours know I'm not kicking it around the living room.
@Stellacopter: I bet if you walked up to any table at a restaurant and said "Good afternoon folks" they will let you take their order.