@kristynhearts: Do you think maybe humans are gonna evolve with longer arms for selfie purposes?
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@SoVeryBritish: Leaving restaurant: "That was lovely" Outside: "Well, it was okay" In car: "I mean, it wasn't great" Back home: "We won't go there again"
@Chelsea_Elle: The best part of being a girl is not having to open doors. If I approach a door and a guy isn't there I just take a nap til one shows up.
@iwearaonesie: [hotel] wife: I'm gonna go change. Find us a movie, ok? *winks* me: Ok! *wife comes out in lingerie* wife: What'd you pick? me: Space Jam
@pakalupapito: out of all my body parts, I'm sure my eyes are in the best shape. I do at least 463 eye rolls a day.