@Tmoney68: I think I'm finally becoming more mature. Now when I watch Spongebob I usually agree with Squidward.

@sofarrsogud: YOGA CLASS INSTRUCTOR: And now we go into downward dog *loud thud GARY WHO IS A T-REX: I'm ok. I'm ok. It's just a bloody nose.

@horacedodge: Dance like no one is watching. Email it like it might be read aloud one day in front of a Jury.

@_ElvishPresley_: [MIDNIGHT TRAIN STATION] ME: one ticket, please TICKET SALESMAN: sure, where to? ME: *looks at camera* anywhere TICKET SALESMAN: where tho

@nice_mustard: ME ONLINE: all people deserve the same rights & quality of life ME IN TRAFFIC: I HOPE EVERYONE IN THIS MINIVAN GETS EATEN BY RABID BADGERS