@ActualPerson084: INCREASINGLY DESPERATE GOOGLE SEARCH FOR "HOW MANY SHADOWS SHOULD I HAVE?"

@michaelianblack: How did anybody express anger before the invention of the caps lock key?

@AdamBroud: Shout out to Marco Polo for inventing finding people

@Ixwie: Ever show ur mum a tweet that u find funny and instead of laughing she just asks 'who's that?' Like I don't know but that's not the point

@SuperTeeWhy: [Bar] "Two long necks please" Giraffe in the back: Wow. Did he just- Giraffe's wife: Cliff, he didn't mean anything by it please sit down