@Marcmywords2: " I gotta see this guys best tweet, I'll gift him Favstar Pro". Said no one ever.

@CountGripsnatch: Just checked my Farmville for the first time in a year. It's now a Walmart.

@KalvinMacleod: KIM JONG-UN: I'm banning sarcasm ME: well that's just great K: what? M: I reeeally hate sarcasm K: seize him...I think

@Ristolable: It's not illegal to convince your child that she is the only person who can see the sun and must never talk about it.

@iamburtjarvis: [2011, pakistan, seal team 6 enters the compound] "chief, something has brought the boys to the yard" bin laden [making a milkshake]: SHIT