@Storminika: You ever drive around with an old person who knows where everything didn't used to be?

@junejuly12: It's not cheating. Or money issues. Leaving drawers and cabinets open is the true test of a marriage.

@rockymomax: [prison] CELLMATE: what are you in for? ME: (actually in jail for jumping a fence to hug a panda) murder

@Laser_Cat: You can buy live bees. You can have them delivered anywhere you want. It's like $6. The internet doesn't make behaving very easy.

@_tomcrowley: it's been 12 years since Shrek came out, I still can't get over the fact that Donkey had sex with a dragon..