@Ygrene: Do you think when the Hamburglar robs people he holds them at bun point?
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@_Water_Baby: Never thought I’d be the type of person who competes for attention. Then I got a cat.
@murrman5: [roommate watching me get ready] dont take that with you "why not" why would you "it'll be fine" [hour into date and I spill my bag of ants]
@3sunzzz: [traffic stop] Officer: Ma'am, do you know why I pulled you over? Me: *backseat full of penguins* Um, I'm guessing the aquarium called?
@KentWGraham: Tonight was supposed to be date night but instead I’m heading to the grocery store because my wife just texted me an eggplant emoji.