@JimmerThatisAll: Be yourself; everyone else is already Batman.

@MommaUnfiltered: What do you mean your dog doesn’t have a middle name. How does he know when you’re angry.

@BrianIncognito: My doctor said I needed to reduce stress. Great, now I have that to worry about.

@TheToddWilliams: Boss: It's been a tough year Jim J: Am I laid off? B: No J: Fired? B: No J: What then? B: You're to be executed at noon. J: This is bullshit

@nraymz: Drank two Monster Energy drinks and started my car by screaming at it.