@thegatekeeper50: Brings sexy back. Gets charged $5,275.00 in late fees.

@CauseWereGuys: Me: I'm happy right now. Life: lol, one sec bro

@ItsJennaMarbles: My phone dies faster than a black man in a horror film.

@trevso_electric: My subconscious wants Thai food but my inner goddess wants pizza.

@SocialExtortion: How many drinks do I buy a girl if I want her to come home with me and clean up my room?