@kumailn: Doctor Who. He can travel to any planet during any period but mostly ends up in places that look like present day England.
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@EJGomez: LAWYER 1: numbers never lie so I call numbers to the stand LAWYER 2: your honor I call shakiras hips to the stand JUDGE: damn lol
@gerryhallcomedy: "I really wish I could squeeze that piano over and over" - guy who invented the accordion
@AntoKenya: Everytime you pull the trigger a bullet loses its job...HAHAHAHA! Because it gets FIRED. HAHAHA! *I'm in tears*