@little_hansel: What idiot called it Oktoberfest instead of Octo-Bar?

@GregDorris: I farted alone in a room and then my girlfriend's dad came in. Now I have to pretend like something is dead in the walls and help him look.

@JennyJohnsonHi5: I'm not a stupid person. I have a college degree. But I'll never understand how a fan can collect so much dust when it's constantly moving.

@Sassafrantz: Sitting on my hand until it gets numb so it feels like someone else is folding my laundry.

@yungfedora: *hits bong* *abuses bong* *bong calls bong protection agency* *bong custody taken* *bong put in foster home* *bong misses old life*