@Jennarater: Does a litter box count as a guest bathroom?
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@handokotjung: How to be happier: 1. Exercise 2. Lift weight 3. When you've become stronger due to those exercises, smack the person who made you unhappy.
@RockabillyJay: If fire shoots out of the chimney the Papal Conclave has selected a new drummer for Slayer.
@Cheeseboy22: One of the World's Strongest Man events should be "Pulling apart two shopping carts that are stuck together."
@jordan_stratton: Doctor: "We got your test results back. I'm so sorry--it's Curiosity." Cat: "Oh my god..."