@EricGoldie: Does Adam Sandler know that he's allowed to turn down movie roles?
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@ImKevinito: Wifey is pregnant again. She wants a girl but I want a black guy so I have someone to play basketball with.
@_The_Man__: [in basement lab] wife: you cant just make your own honey me: (mouth dry, spitting pollen everywhere) I know that now Lisa.
@_SingleBabyMama: I used to wait for hrs with my finger on the record button of a boom box after requesting a song on the radio. I'm familiar with commitment.
@jackiembouvier: Put a kid in a lake or a river and they never want to come out. Turn on a shower and it's like you're blasting them with nuclear waste.