@EricGoldie: Does Adam Sandler know that he's allowed to turn down movie roles?
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@UncleDuke1969: (Trump rally) Trump: I’ll take questions now. Reporter: How will you fix California’s drought? Trump: More water. Crowd: *cheers wildly*
@AphroditeAfter5: Some of you need to be driven out to the country and released back into the wild
@TaylorComedy: It's so annoying when you're trying to poison someone but they're just not thirsty :(
@Brampersandon_: [around campfire] ME: *grabs guitar* Hey kids how about a song? KIDS: Yeah! ME: ok *clears throat* LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR LET THE BODI