@Elizasoul80: Does anyone ever put a chip with too much dip on it into their mouth, then shove a second chip in there to even out the chip to dip ratio?
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@ABurgerADay: [tsunami approaches] Me: At last I will feel oblivion's sweet embrace. Tsunami (inexplicably reversing): I have a boyfriend.
@Book_Krazy: Silence is golden. Unless they're in the shower and you can't find their phone. In that case, silence is very very suspicious!
@KimmyMonte: Hey guys is your refrigerator running? Because I don't like any of the current presidential candidates