@BobScottCPA: Does anyone on here know how to "unhook" Amazon from my Twitter so that I can order things without giving people the idea I am Really bald??
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@michaelianblack: Now that my kids are getting older, I'm worried I'll never have the opportunity to leave my wife for the nanny.
@causticbob: I walked a girl home last night, and things got a little awkward at one point. She turned around and found out I was walking her home.
@TheTweetOfGod: Jesus was white and spoke English and enjoyed baseball and apple pie and was a churchgoing Christian.