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@SinCityChiGirl: Does it get bigger?
@clindsaysway: *attempts seductive selfie in bed
*drops phone on face
@IRLPepperMD: [guy wearing a ski mask holds a gun to my head] "please go skiing with me I am so alone"
@Notoliviasteel: DOCTOR: u broke ur leg in five places, how did this happen
ME:*flashback of me trying to carry too much ice cream up the stairs* bears.
@ATXBOSS: Everyone suffering from diseases and natural disasters: hang in there, we're liking Facebook posts as fast as we can
@UnIxphysco: My boss called me lazy and said I had poor communication skills... I almost responded