@TheAlexP: Does it make you an acrobat if you get suspended from the chandelier by your drawers after falling over the 2nd floor railing?
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@WritePlay: *dog barks at absolutely everything, every time* Me: SHUT UP *dog barks at burglar, one time* Me: It's like he just knew there was danger
@Tmoney68: I've been trying to figure out why I overslept today. Just realized drunk me set my calculator for $7.30.
@Eightinchgoat: My son asked me what language they speak in England. This would have been cute if he wasn't 20 ... And in college.