@TheAlexP: Does it make you an acrobat if you get suspended from the chandelier by your drawers after falling over the 2nd floor railing?
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@kimlockhartga: Dolly Madison should make snack cakes for diet "cheat days" and call them Ashley Madisons.
@shawnhitch22: After handing a girl my mixtape I asked her if she was ready for TOTAL AURAL SATISFACTION not realizing what it had sounded like.
@SardonicTart: I waited for so long at the doctor's office that by the time they called me it was time for my follow-up appointment.
@chimneyspotter: What do we want? FLEXIBLE WORK SCHEDULES THAT ACCOMMODATE FAMILY LIFE! When do we want it? [Unintelligible yelling of different dates]