@Slygirl08: "Does my uniform make me look fat?" -Insecurity guard
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@deardilettante: A fun thing to do would be to eat rat poison during a dinner party & then, when you die, they'll blame the host's cooking. Lol.
@CorkyKneivel: I can't get her off my mind, even the wind seems to whisper her name. Never fall in love with a girl named WHOOSHEE FFREWERRREFSHH.
@nbadag: ME: here's your bday present! BUDDY: [tries to grab it but it won't budge] did u wrap your own hand flipping the bird again ME: just open it
@WhaJoTalkinBout: My first subtweet was in the 3rd grade when I added extra glitter to Nathan's Valentine.