@Playing_Dad: Does racism still exist? Let's go to this panel of white people to find out.
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@longwall26: Life got you down? Just remember that you will never be as confused and sad as the friends and relatives of the world's first clown.
@MarfSalvador: Park Ranger: *Looking at morbidly obese ducks* Was this you? Jesus: *trying to hide the rapidly multiplying bread loaves* No sir
@murrman5: [phone w/ son while in bank thats being robbed] in case this goes bad, go to google on the iPad and delete "can owls fly" before mom sees it
@edfoxcomedy: "On your 1st day, find the biggest guy, and punch him in the face to show you're in charge." - my advice to new teachers