@chrissyteigen: Does the baby have access to my ribs? It feels like they're bars and she's an old timey prisoner with a tin mug
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@AverageCorners: 11: Did it rain last night? Me: No. 11: But it's so wet! Me: That's what she said. 11: What? Me: What?
@Ideal_Victoria: Shhhhh! I can't hear about how God spoke to you! I'm busy listening to my toaster tell me about his day.
@bourgeoisalien: if ghosts r real why are there no dinosaur ghosts? think about that, but u won't bc i just blew your mind with something called logic, idiot