@DeepDarkFear: "Does this leaf make me look fat?" - Eve.
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@KalvinMacleod: [adrift at sea] CLOWN: no worries, we can use this helium canister to propel us to shore ME: *really squeaky voice* we need a different plan
@BoozyMusic: "Good thing I guessed that today was probably a BYOB situation." -me, chaperoning the kindergarten field trip
@BradBroaddus: I think my life would have turned out differently had I forwarded those chain letters in the 80's.
@GinGander: I watched her squeeze into the booth, finish 3 Egg McMuffins, & stand-up. "My knees are killing me, it must be the cold weather," she said.