@buhsbaby_baby: Dogs are great. You can count on them to alert you of danger...Also, children passing by, squirrels and gusts of wind they don't like.
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@Elizasoul80: Person I tried to rob describing me to the police: "long hair, wearing pajamas, honestly she didn't seem very committed to it."
@hippieswordfish: *suddenly awakes* honey! i just had a nightmare that i was naked at a job interview, licking BBQ sauce off the guy's face interviewer: ummm
@rolldiggity: Every Scooby-Doo mystery could be solved by asking, "1: Who is your most disgruntled employee?" and "2: Does he have access to a mask shop?"