@daveexplosm: Dogs lick each other's butts to tell each other they like them. Just like politicians
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@KevinBuffalo: I don't wanna get too political here, but I plan on voting for whichever candidate will do something about Meghan Trainor.
@glenna_opt: we all had to sign a card for a coworker thats retiring and i just wrote "please take me with you" in it
@IrishVin: Her: Can I see your phone? Me: Cu-caw! Cu-caw! Cu-caw! **Flaps imaginary wings and flys into another room**
@barbhaynes: OMG, you guys, there's a button on this stove that says "Stop Time". Should I press it??