@LisaACOTA: Dollar Tree clerk asked me to fill out a survey to maybe win a $500 gift card and I was like I don't need to own a whole dollar store thanks
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@joe_binkley: I want to be a server at a restaurant that serves fish jelly, just so when people order it, I can say "I don't think you're ready."
@AndyAsAdjective: Baby, tonight let's put the kids to bed, pour some wine, turn the lights down low & argue over whose turn it is to move the Elf on the Shelf
@garrydavenport: Next time my 5 y/o says "Daddy, guess what?", I'm going to refuse to let her continue until I can actually guess, even if it takes 7 years.