We're redesigning Funny Tweeter. Your feedback is always welcome. Talk to us at @funTweeters
@kharizzmaaa: Dominicans be naughty on purpose so they can get coal from Santa for their hookahs
@roxiqt: DATE: I want someone that's mysterious & really into nature
@rockymomax: [my funeral]
PRIEST: we are here for Robert-
*one guy in the back of the room boos*
@Playing_Dad: As we develop robots, we should make them out of pretzels or cotton candy that way if they become self aware we could just eat them
@ericsshadow: If I ever run into my doppelgänger I'm going to steal his liver.
@FatuousFloozy: Women love a man that can cook, tell a lady you're interested in that youll cook anything their heart desires. And pray they say "spaghetti"