@BadJordon: Dominos just called to let me know my pizza's on the way. They correctly assumed I'd need time to find my pants.
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@AndyAsAdjective: Does the employee manual say I CAN'T set up my camping tent inside my cubicle? No? Then please step outside & zip the door up behind you.
@ThaJawn: Surgeon: *puts mask on my face* count backwards from 10 Me: 10, 9, 8, I'm scared Surgeon: *whispers* You should be Me: Wha *passes out