@BadJordon: Dominos just called to let me know my pizza's on the way. They correctly assumed I'd need time to find my pants.
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@lazerdoov: I like to picture my mom in the middle of the crowd at a Wu Tang concert, hands on her hips, just shouting grammar corrections back at them
@theedgeofchris: Dora the Explorer has taught me just enough Spanish to engage Spanish-speaking people in the worst conversation they've ever had.
@SternoShots: Me: Just to be safe, we should quarantine Texas and nuke it from space. CW: That seems like an overreaction to Ebola. Me: They have Ebola?