@Rollinintheseat: Donald Trump always looks like he's trying to apply lip gloss in a rear view mirror.
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@MarfSalvador: [Restaurant] Date: I like guys who plan ahead Me: Excuse me, waiter! *Leans in* Make sure my widow here is well looked after
@Mr_Kapowski: Coworker: Summer plans? Me: Hell yeah. Rock shows galore CW: Def Leppard, Guns N Roses? Me: *thinks to amethysts and pyrite on brochure* Yea