@XplodingUnicorn: Donald Trump's chief speechwriter is a random deck from Cards Against Humanity.
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@ChrisStephensMD: Is it safe for Ryan Gosling to wink at a girl that's already pregnant or does it like, poke the baby?
@jlock17: Subway only exists because we're all too damn lazy to throw a sandwich together. "Could you lay meat on that bread for me? Here's $8."