@I_Bl33d_Purple: Don't be sad dirty dishes, nobody's doing me either.
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@nbadag: NASA: what makes u qualified for our mission to mars? ME: i desperately want to be shot into deep space, where there are definitely no geese
@Chyld: Dear North Carolina, if you let guys marry each other, you'll have more available women in your family to date!
@tartadepollo: I asked this homeless lady if I could take her home. She said yes, so I walked off with her cardboard box.