@theyearofelan: Don't be sad when your exes unfollow you. It just means they'll spend more time manually checking your updates
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@VeryLonelyLuke: I got mad at a rock today. I chopped it in half with my lightsaber. Now there are two rocks. Send help. Now.
@Home_Halfway: COMEDY FAN: Ugh their set was only 95% new material, lame MUSIC FAN: Oh man I hope they play my favorite song that they've played 71,000 times
@Heronhell: When I die use my body to block up a water slide. No one should have fun once I'm gone