@novicefather: Don't be that crazy person who collects cats. Collect something else instead like toenails.
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@ArfMeasures: DATE: What's your favourite movie? ME: Kill Bill DATE: Oh. I prefer things more sophisticated ME [long pause] Killiam William
@unravelingfire: Researcher: By 2030, life expectancy is predicted to increase globally by 6 years. Southerner: [pouring mac and cheese into deep fryer] No.
@Imnotsurehow: A sure fire way to lose a afternoon, is to help a friend out when he says "come on it will only take a half hour to fix"
@NormsRespecter: Just remembered that time on here that a British person complained about how all other countries have an independence day and the United Kingdom doesn't