@novicefather: Don't be that crazy person who collects cats. Collect something else instead like toenails.
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@brettminor: It is crazy easy to buy a birthday cake. Even if it is no one's birthday. They don't even check.
@JordanPeele: I've been dating a girl online who I think might be a Catfish. Every time I try to meet, her excuse is that she "can't survive on dry land."