@mjkspeaks: Don't be that guy that goes around saying "Don't Be That Guy."
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@buhsbaby_baby: [before sex] Just so you know.. I can only be on top cause' I'm not gonna take my backpack off
@AlexRogaski: [Me as 911 Operator] *phone rings* I wait for it to stop ringing and text back "what's up"
@Vodkantots: Get your therapist to start taking you seriously by pulling a donut out of your purse.