@meganamram: Don't bring a knife to a gun fight. Also, no outside food, they are so strict about that.
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@FinallyHeSleeps: My kids heard, "Sorry. Life is over as you know it. May as well curl up and die." What she said was, "Sorry, our shake machine is down."
@VerifiedJayy: When a guy tries to talk to me while at a urinal I instantly slide over and start pissing in his urinal too. See how friendly he really is
@JamieGreenlees: I thought it was impossible to do 450 push ups in a minute until I discovered lying