@Sassafrantz: Don't date guys from the internet. The last guy said he lived in a gated community. Prison, he meant prison.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@girlposts: having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave your house
@holypurgatory: A lot of people cry when they chop onions. The trick is not to form an emotional bond.
@internetluke: Boy, I hate small talk. *coworkers all grimace* He's right behind me isn't he? *Small talk starts cracking his knuckles*
@Playing_Dad: [3am] *nudges wife* No way the old guy blew up all those balloons in Up in 1 night. Honey, you awake? I mean he's like a million years old.