@Sassafrantz: Don't date guys from the internet. The last guy said he lived in a gated community. Prison, he meant prison.
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@squirrel74wkgn: If my wife comes to bed nude it's ON, but when it's me at the end of the bed naked she's all "what are you doin, we're at Mattress City."
@TheMichaelRock: Her: ID please Me: for? Her: alcohol Me: my beard is almost white Her: still need it Me*whispers* I know why you work at a gas station
@WilliamAder: Every year on Valentine's Day, I put a smile on my wife's face by taking down the Christmas tree.