@Sassafrantz: Don't date guys from the internet. The last guy said he lived in a gated community. Prison, he meant prison.
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@david8hughes: [looks over neighbour's fence while he's in the pool] "Dude, we get it. You can hold your breath for [looks at watch] 19 days."
@BarebakAssassin: After you're done looking for true love on Twitter, you should go ride a unicorn around Atlantis, then eat some heart-healthy ice cream.