@treydayway: Don't fall for it black people, white people only invite us to go camping to see how long we stay alive.
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@dyldonot: [first date] me: don't let her know you vocalise everything you think her: what? me: shit she knows
@RandiLawson: We've replaced the names of the foreign countries & leaders in Trump's speech with the names of IKEA® furniture. Let's see if he notices
@batkaren: LITTLE MERMAID 2016: SEA WITCH URSULA: Your voice is mine mwaahahaha!!! ARIEL: *flicks eyes up; keeps texting*