@treydayway: Don't fall for it black people, white people only invite us to go camping to see how long we stay alive.
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@stephenjmolloy: Me: "I'd like to withdraw 3 sausages and a packet of peanuts please." Man: "That isn't how a food bank works, sir."
@PaperWash: I noticed you're eating that bag of popcorn one piece at a time. So how many people have you murdered?
@HeSlimedMeRay: My son just complained about how far the guy in his video game has to walk. We take our lazy seriously around here.
@notbedelia: If you play Titanic backwards it's about a guy who rises from the sea, bangs a ginger and tries to throw her over the railing of a boat.