@Reverend_Scott: Don't forget to sacrifice your own personal goals to live up to someone else's expectations today!
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@runawaycupcake: If I had known what cleaning a toilet is like with a husband and two sons I would've become a lesbian.
@Laser_Cat: Look, I'm not saying he's a bad dentist. I'm just saying maybe you should check his references.
@KimmyMonte: I think the first person to see a pug was like wait why is that sweet potato snorting?
@bridger_w: "Ah, OK. Yes. Now I see it." -Me lying to someone who's pointing out a constellation