@Reverend_Scott: Don't forget to sacrifice your own personal goals to live up to someone else's expectations today!
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@Underchilde: Sometimes I put a “for sale” sign in my neighbor’s yard and pray the power of suggestion works.
@ArfMeasures: DATE [annoyed] in your profile, it said u had amazing abs ME [slams car to a stop] Amy it's the best anti-lock braking system I've ever had
@DominicStraw: Barber: What would you like today? Me: Make me look attractive. Barber: CAROL! CANCEL ALL MY APPOINTMENTS!