@casual_koala: Don't get upset if you hit a lot of red lights on your way to work. You'd turn red too if you had to change in the middle of the street.
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@mattyglesias: Say what you will about Fidel Castro, at least he didn't use a private email server.
@ericONEderful: What's the rule for Twitter crushes? So far I'm in love with 800 women, 2 dudes, and a llama. Send condoms.
@jergarl: Romantic comedies are just horror movies where people only die on the inside. Also, my wife doesn't let me pick movies for date night.