@werehedgehog: Don't go chasing waterfalls. *turns on tap* We have their children. They will come to us.
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@ShawnHatosy: If honey is supposed to be so great for your voice, why does it sound like Winnie the Pooh has been shotgunning bleach?
@Reverend_Scott: COP: Know why I stopped you? "Drag racing?" COP: Nope. "Speeding?" COP: Definitely not. "Cuz I'm on a unicycle?" COP: That's the one.
@wickedsuga: This kid in target fell on the ground screaming bc his mom wouldn't buy him candy & now she's yelling for us both to get up and be quiet.