@werehedgehog: Don't go chasing waterfalls. *turns on tap* We have their children. They will come to us.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@jazmasta: Buddy, If you get in a fight with me there'll only be 2 "hits"; You hitting me and my screams of pain hitting 100 decibels.
@LaziestCanine: Murderer: IM GOING TO STRANGLE YOU Me: wow your hands are so soft Murderer: omg really Me: [caresses his hands] what moisturizer do you use
@TheRolo: And on the 8th day, God almost created Lionel Richie but was all like "Naw, I'll just hold off a few thousand years then one day HELLO!"
@KalvinMacleod: ME: my wife eats all the caramel corn and leaves the cheese JUDGE: give this man full custody of the kids ME: no wait they do the same thing