@Just_Lee_: Don't hate the player, play the player. They never see that coming.
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@VectorBelly: I like when the ending credits show pictures from the episode I just watched. What a fun trip down memory lane.
@JohnLyonTweets: Those guys who came by the office to ask for protection money kept breaking things. Like I'm going to pay people that clumsy to protect me!
@MrRamBillings: One time I was so high, my flatscreen fell off the wall and I thought it was just part of the movie.
@bourgeoisalien: At what point in listening to your kid whine can you say, "Sorry. This relationship isn't working out. You should start seeing other moms."