@pakalupapito: dont judge a person by the color of their skin or by the content of their character but by the shape of their eyebrows
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@ArfMeasures: "I've invented the toaster" SADISTIC CEO: What number toasts it perfectly? "2" SC: ok make it *cries with laughter* make it go up to 8
@JustLikeMikee: Modern Warfare: a $700,000,000 dollar plane drops a $50,000 bomb on a $1.00 tent
@DiscoFruit: [first date] her: so are you a dog or cat person? me: *long dramatic pause* well... i'm almost positive that i'm just a normal person..?
@bazecraze: If you're thinking of getting a hairless cat, go the extra mile and get a catless cat.