@hazelmotes1: Don't judge. Maybe I'm conducting a study of the effects of prolonged laziness on a human body. You don't know.
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@thenatewolf: *showing mom how to use her phone* What's the blue button with the bird? THAT BUTTON GIVES YOUR BANK INFO TO TERRORISTS NEVER TOUCH IT!!!!
@djdarrellripley: Why in the hell would I clean my bathtub? I put soap and water in there every day...
@SatansTongue: *el chapo dies* God: okay I'm gonna have to send you to hell Chapo: ok *3 weeks later* Angel: El Chapo has escaped from hell