@hazelmotes1: Don't judge. Maybe I'm conducting a study of the effects of prolonged laziness on a human body. You don't know.
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@JohnLyonTweets: The movie Speed, except this bus driver apparently thinks we'll blow up if he goes over 15 mph.
@TheTweetOfGod: Sometimes sorry seems to be the hardest word, but usually it's antidisestablishmentarianism.
@rolldiggity: 1. Loan someone a pocket knife. 2. Take it back by wrapping it in a rag. 3. Explain you need a knife with someone else's prints on it.