@NotJPo: "Don't kid yourself." - birth control
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@TheCiscoKidder: My wife went into labor this morning and I was excited until I saw that it's somebody's birthday on FB that I didn't like.
@markydoodoo: Swiss cheese is cheating cheese cause there's holes where there could be more cheese stay woke.
@TheToddWilliams: [interview] BOSS: How many words can you type a minute? ME: Probably all of them BOSS: What do you mean? ME: Well, like for example, pickle