@NotJPo: "Don't kid yourself." - birth control
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@ClichedOut: [about to post] Social Media Police: Is it reliable Me: Yes SMP: Source? M: I heard it from a friend who heard it from a friend SMP: Proceed
@novicefather: [grocery store with 2yo] Cashier: your son is so cute. What do you want to have next? Me: a vasectomy
@lecalabara: Her: Which actress would you like to get stuck in an elevator with? Me: One who knows how to fix elevators.
@CulturedRuffian: The only thing we have to fear is fear itself...& murderous clowns, & ISIS, & one of these two getting elected President after Halloween.