@DurtMcHurtt: Don't let herpes become yourpes.
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@fro_vo: Judge: has the jury reached a verdict Jury: yes your honor Judge: how do you find the defendant Jury: guilty Defendant: SEE YOU IN COURT
@TheDailySchmuck: I hate when I shape my hand like a phone to tell someone to call me, but they're in their 20s and don't know what phones used to look like.
@Rebecca8672: Awkward=when autocorrect changes 'sooner' to 'sober' so email to 8 yr. old's teacher reads "I apologize for not getting back to you sober"