@DurtMcHurtt: Don't let herpes become yourpes.
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@Blarebare: I'm seriously considering taking up falconry. Someone pisses me off? BAM! Falcon, right in the face.
@PaperWash: 6'5" guy: [starts a fight with me at the bar] me: [hides behind GF] GF: HEY, WHAT THE F- me: look, we need more strong female lead char-
@ericsshadow: [my wife and I watch a drunk white girl fall out of a cab] I've never drank that much.... [wife looks at me in disgust] ugh, ok I have.