@realHamOnWry: Don’t let them fool you. Squirrels are just rats dressed in Armani.
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@DamienFahey: Please pray for my friends' 4-year-old. They found out today 7 minutes of his life wasn't photographed or videotaped and put on Facebook.
@DannyZuker: I just watched a 15 year old girl who was busy texting walk into a light post and I am no longer an atheist.
@knot_eye: Me: You say all the right things. Her: I didn't say anything. Me: Shhh Don't ruin this for me.