@realHamOnWry: Don’t let them fool you. Squirrels are just rats dressed in Armani.
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@Manali_Shetye5: Top 3 situations that require witnesses: 1) Crimes 2) Accidents 3) Marriages Need I say more?
@Elizasoul80: When I misplace something and you say "where did you have it last" I feel like you don't know what misplace means.
@Kristen_R5: summer is real cute until every frickin type of insect comes out of the 8th circle of hell
@GrowlyGrego: "Thanks for turning me into an expression of contempt. Sorry about making delicious nourishment so damned accessible." -Low-hanging fruit