@jenlaw_11: Don't make my same mistake. See the signs. Make a change.
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@BillFienberg: Whenever my girlfriend and I share a meal, I let her have the first bite because I'm a gentleman. Also, to see if it's been poisoned.
@jordan_stratton: All of our friends were having babies, so my wife and I decided we might as well go ahead and get new friends.
@jwalkonthemoon: It's stupid that "girl" and "world" are rhymed together so much in songs when "squirrel" is right there for the taking.
@TheQuietPsycho: Meanwhile, in a parallel world...a banana slowly and seductively peels and eats a human, while locking eyes with another banana...