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@jenlaw_11: Don't make my same mistake. See the signs. Make a change.
@ilovepie84: When I play rock paper scissors I always pick Rock because Dwayne Johnson shows up and punches my opponent.
@thebgcomplex: Bikini season is right around the corner...But so is Chipotle
@ClichedOut: Interviewer: What's your greatest strength?
Hulk: Is that a trick question?
@jordanklepper: I bought a dog so I wouldn't feel creepy picking up poop off the sidewalk
@WilliamAder: One more missile failure and the Acme Corp. is going to lose that North Korea contract.