@mstern68: Don't worry about my probation officer, he just likes to watch.
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@Feel_Dont_Speak: A friend will invite you for beers A good friend will pick up the tab A best friend will hold your hair All three will have blackmail pics
@malt_skull: [Spider-Man shows up at my house] *I carefully scoop him up on a piece of paper and release him outside my door*
@InternetHippo: genie: your last wish? [hillary looks upon all of the world’s suffering and nods] ... [somewhere in vermont a piano falls on bernie’s head]
@GrantTanaka: [cuddling w/ 5 yr old son] I hope he wants to do this forever [25 yrs later] this has lost its charm