@birbigs: Don't worry, Donald Trump will declare bankruptcy and start a new country.
@Marcmywords2: Sure boss, I'd love to take on some extra work, I have like 7-8 free hours a night where all I do is sleep anyway.
@darrinfb: It's so hot outside I almost called my ex over so I could stand by something shady.
@maurajbg: A bird laments over the corpse of its fallen comrade. "Tern down. For what?"
@osigat: I've been called a lot of names but "designated driver" was never one of them.
@TheBoydP: The best thing about working at my office is that you can literally use as much toilet paper as you want in the restroom.