@birbigs: Don't worry, Donald Trump will declare bankruptcy and start a new country.
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@krustythe_klown: A bum gets on a bus and walks past a nun. The nun says "youre going to hell". The bum yells "Damn, Im on the wrong bus" ! :D
@whereami18: My kids decided to move a piece of furniture to a random spot, I wonder how much it will cost to fix whatever they're covering up
@SteveMartinToGo: Whenever I hear someone died of natural causes, I think, "Wait a minute. I have that."
@El_nacho_Nigre: My life would be so much better if I could use a smokebomb to conceal my escape after being turned down by a girl.