@ShittyComedian: Don't you hate it when you're so high on drugs that simple, everyday, mundane tasks become difficult? Anyway, I pissed on your sofa.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Underchilde: The fastest way to get to the front of the line at Starbucks is just to tell everyone you saw Adele outside.
@isabelzawtun: Gary Numan is 13 days older than Gary Oldman. I don't even know what to believe any more
@McCutty1: She won't admit she's obsessed with Instagram... But her kids' names are Brannan, Kelvin, and Valencia.