@MrSpoonicorn: don't you just hate it when a zombie breaks into your home and starts doing their ironing right in front of the TV
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@markleggett: In America she's called "Miley" Cyrus, but in other countries she's called "What America would be like if it were a person".
@iwearaonesie: [Bar] me: Gimme one more wife: I think you've had enough m: Last one w: Fine m: *asks waitress for another kids menu so I can do the maze*
@JohnnyNami: "If someone wanted to murder you, a night light wouldn't stop them" I will never lie to my future children.