@justabloodygame: The first time God made the universe, he skipped leg day. All men were weeping creatures, who ended in bloody torsos and begged for death.

@JoParkerBear: They said if gay marriage became legal, people would start marrying dogs and cats, but I guess that was just another bs political promise.

@Phook75: I don't ever worry about the kinda world I'm leaving my kids. They'll just leave their shit everywhere anyhow

@FrenulumBreve: PIGEON MAGICIAN: I want you to pick a car, any car...DONT TELL ME!. Ok [shits on windscreen] is THIS the car you chose?

@RexHuppke: I wonder if racist families have that one liberal uncle who gets drunk at Thanksgiving and goes on about how Obama is DEFINITELY American.