@jeffreyr77: Doritos - my own personal love triangles.
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@notalogin: Wife: You're shirtless? *nods* W: And covered in...oil? -Well, you know how you always say I never glisten? W: Listen. You never listen. -Oh
@WilliamRodgers: "And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon....Little boy blue and the man on the moon" ...Drugs in the 70's must've been AWESOME!
@mostunladylike: Yog see woman Yog ask woman out Yog go on date Yog fall in love Yog act like an idiot Yog get dumped Yoghurt.
@dreadnaught69: She thinks I drink all day when she's at work. I don't... I stop just before she gets home