@DoubtTommy: Double cheeseburgers don't make you fat, eating them does.
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@Robski_Boy: I still get my 'drive-throughs' & 'drive-bys' mixed up. Which is the one where I have to take a gun?
@djdarrellripley: Me: Can my gift this year be a new secretary. Boss: I cannot legally assign you anyone until your last secretary's case goes to trial...
@SardonicTart: 10: Mom what's a metaphor? Me: My life is a train wreck. 10: I know Mom, but what is a metaphor?