@DoubtTommy: Double cheeseburgers don't make you fat, eating them does.
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@bugbucket: wonder why's theres a pizza laying here in the middle of the woods *eats it* *dies 82 years later* dammit it was a trap
@DaddyJew: If you had a choice between owning a dragon or world peace, what would you name your dragon?
@noog: [outside eden] Adam: This isnt so bad Eve: Yea Adam: [mosquito lands on arm] Wtf is this [5 min later] Adam: [banging on gates] WE’RE SORRY
@badbanana: Saw a guy with flames tattooed all over his face. I hope someday he finds a girl who has marshmallows tattooed all over hers.